Self Medication, Addiction, Desperation…
Are they normal? How does that feel?
Everyone around me, smiles on their faces.
Are the open wounds of my past
Too deep to ever truly heal?
I want to wake up in your perfect world,
To like who I see in the mirror.
But then I remember,
I’m just not ever going to be that girl.
Self Medication.
My demons, every hour I hear their call,
Begging me to come back.
Promising to make it all go away,
All I have to do is sell my soul and fall.
I hear them silently screaming for me,
How can silence seem so loud?
A cacaphony of cries inside,
When all I want is to be free.
Addiction.
I know that I’m a slave.
How do I stop?
Do I even want to?
How do you resist your deepest crave?
I need a prescription to be clean,
But when you’ve been dirty for so long,
Embraced the poison so openly,
Is it possible to even know what that means?
Desperation.
-by me
